bottombitch | IC Contact @ Riverview

Eh?

[ As much as he tries to focus on cleaning, he can't help but feel his eyes on him. Even after they did all of that, he still feels self-conscious, perhaps a bit more because they had. Aoba makes a small sound when his chin is lifted, causing him to drift a bit closer to Karamatsu until he can feel his shoulder sticking against his in the water. ]

...I guess, n-not in a while, if... you mean outside of the last time you said it?

[ Because, actually, he has no one in his life to give those kinds of embarrassing affirmations. It actually makes him a little conflicted -- sad and embarrassed at the same time. Koujaku would sometimes say these really earnest things, but nothing like that. Clear would say 'master this' or 'master that' or maybe 'master is wonderful' but that was not the same thing. Noiz he... wasn't the best with his words, more likely to be direct and blunt than to dish out compliments. Granny was more likely to throw chopsticks at him than say he was wonderful.

He feels oddly vulnerable, and some of that is probably because they're in the bath together, but he's been feeling like that a lot. Aoba resists the urge to withdraw in on himself by drawing his knees up and puts his arms around them... and instead reaches out and slips an arm around Karamatsu's waist and holds him instead. ]

I feel like somehow I don't really deserve that compliment.

You are more than just wonderful.
_{[ Sure, Karamatsu is really desperate and really needy, but his feelings and sentiment are true and valid when it comes to Aoba. He's never had someone outside of his family give him so much happiness. He couldn't exactly place his finger on it if somebody asked, but he knew that without him, he felt lifeless.
He runs his knuckles along his friend's cheek for a moment before he steadies his palm on his face. ]}

You are.. the sunshine in my blue skies! Ah, the song birds in my empty trees. Simply said, you are what brings me joy when I am feeling sad.
_{[ Easy there, bud. Fascinatingly enough, Karamatsu says this without a bat of a lash and without any embarrassment. He's even looking into Aoba's eyes when saying so. ]}

...Karamatsu, are you --

[ In love with me is what he wants to ask, but he thinks he'll hear the same answer. He probably thinks he is, and to a degree he thinks he returns those feelings. Knows he does. But it's complicated. Aoba doesn't trust himself completely and wonders if he's maybe just a little bit in love with the idea of being with someone. ]

Are you sure? I mean... with... what we're doing. [ Aoba draws his knees to his chest and hugs them, resting the side of his face against his knees as he asks Karamatsu the obvious, but at the last minute Aoba buries his face in his arms and knees and mumbles through them: ]

...I don't really know what I'm asking.

_{[ Woah there, that's certainly a change of mood, and despite being somebody who can't read the atmosphere very well, he knows damn well something is off about this reaction.
He gives Aoba some space, but steadies his hand between his shoulder blades. He thinks he knows what he is asking, but.. ]}

Are you concerned you don't feel the same way or feel as strongly about me but.. perhaps you enjoy the pampering and attention I give you?
_{[ In a way, Karamatsu knows it's something he shouldn't be doing. He should also pull back on the reigns to prevent getting hurt or hurting Aoba, but.. he simply cannot resist when somebody is just even a minuscule interested in him. ]}

[ He's feeling a little vulnerable. It's the first time he's been intimate since Noiz, so there's a bit of emotional whiplash. But the moment Karamatsu speaks so bluntly to him, color returns to his face and he blinks back at him in alarm. ]

N-no! I like you! More than anyone else in quarantine! I just...

[ Don't trust myself. Aoba thinks, but decides even that would be unnecessary to say to someone. Who wants to hear that kind of uncertain, wishy-washy crap? Aoba lowers his knees and arms, he can feel his hand on his back so he reaches for Karamatsu's other hand to hold it under the water. ]

...I want to make sure I'm giving you the attention you deserve too. Not just... um, you know.

_{[ Karamatsu tips his head, but seems pleased with the validation. He doesn't think he's very deserving of any attention when it boils down to it, but Aoba is the only one who even gives him a small bit of attention so he's satisfied with that.

He takes his hand, lips curling upward in a smile. ]}

Of course you are! I have never gotten so much attention in my entire life.
_{[ He's being honest here?? ]}

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