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[bottombitch]

« SLY BLUE » TEXT ✧ AUDIO ✧ VIDEO ✧ ACTION AOBA SERAGAKI ✦ DRAMATICAL MURDER
RESIDENCE ✦ Emerald District, 1BR
GEMBOND ✦ Sapphire

It's me, Aoba! Sorry I missed you, just leave me a message and I'll get back to you! Promise~

INFO ✧ PERMISSIONS ✧ KINKLIST ✧ OVERFLOW

Comments

un: sly blue; lmao I can't believe this

[bottombitch]

no ty
i don't want to know what 40 yo balls taste like

[ Actually... ]

are you gonna ask about my astrological sign too

oh my god and i had to suffer from the hubris of not turning off the hover menu FUCK MY GAY LIFE

[gumboots]

boring

and you took away my next line of roses are red, violets are fine, you be the 6, i'll be the 9

dang it Aoba

i don't do astrology i only do great pick up lines since you loved them last time

if you were a flower you’d be a damn-delion

RIP

[bottombitch]

oh my god

can u really be making these kinds of threats
have you even done anything but lights off vanilla???

this is awful
I thought we were friends

[gumboots]

what like you're some sort of bdsm master now

are you going to be doing the spanking Aoba

i've never tried it but i'm down if you're going to step on me in latex thigh high platforms or whatever we all die why not go out getting stood on


anyway true friends make each other suffer for laughter so here's the next line

you got an inhaler? cause you got that ass, ma

if that one doesn't make you at least wince or snort then i don't know what's going to get through to you

[bottombitch]

WOW WTF
latex thigh high platforms
just what kind of porn are you watching

you can't just call me ma, there are several areas where that's just wrong

...how many of these do you have?

[gumboots]

you tell me since you have me figured out

your taste is garbage that was a great one i can't believe i'm sitting here on alien google trying to look up bad pick up lines and i get this

that's about all i'm doing though i'm sifting through the chaff to find the wheat just for you. so many bad pick up lines but you're getting the cream of the crop

speaking of
i have 206 bones in my body. want to give me another one?

[bottombitch]

[ ... ]

I'M SORRY

[bottombitch]

[ ...it's been several minutes, it's probably safe to say he's left Nanba on read. ]

why say this when i should always be sorry more

[gumboots]

Re: why say this when i should always be sorry more

[bottombitch]

oh mY GOD

let's go
let's go find this analog gaming system you've been going on about
you know
famicon 9000 or whatever
anything but what you're doing right now

where are you

[gumboots]

wait what

no

no

i'm not falling for this trap you're just going to wait for me to show up like a schmuck and then beat my ass for this

what have i done

i'm not leaving my apartment for the next week you can't make me

[bottombitch]

oh my god
are you seriously afraid I'm going to kick your ass

wait is this another kink thing
are you a masochist
do you want me to step on you with those thigh high boot things?

[ Don't throw stones in glass houses, guys... ]

I wonder if I can find your apartment with this thing

[gumboots]

a little bit yeah

at least one good punch below the chin and above the belt

do you want to step on me Aoba you're really hanging onto a throwaway joke there i can help you work through your masochism if you want we can talk it out i'm here for you





oh fuck i'm locking my door good luck

[bottombitch]

oh my god I'm not going to beat you or step on you

c'mon you can't stay in there forever

when are we going to hang out
i'm bored

...you PROMISED.

[gumboots]

when

when did i promise DICK SHIT to you young man



you're just going to whine anyway and this is my fault for not letting you leave me on read isn't it

ok fine i'll get dressed you want to try and figure out my coordinates from this thing or

[bottombitch]

you probably didn't but it had it's intended effect anyway
sucker

so which apartment's yours anyway?
I want to see if you're managing to live like a normal person yet

[gumboots]

just for this i'm looking up more pick up lines

you must have 11 protons because you're sodium fine


heh

uhhh just look for the apartment with pigeons out the front i just threw some chopped up old spinach out they're going bananas

[bottombitch]

okay that one was too cerebral, i literally know nothing about chemistry

pigeons? what the hell

is this your way of saying you're living on the roof??

[gumboots]

the sodium fine bit is the only bit that matters but ok here's another

my battery's at 4% and i chose to message you

actually no that one's kind of nice ignore that

try this instead: are you a chicken, because you're impeccable


i like birds shut up they're my friends accept me accept my pigeons
we're not on the roof they just chill outside the door and until someone gets on my ass about feeding them i'll keep doing it