bottombitch | IC Contact @ Riverview

_{[ You do have to start somewhere, but Karamatsu has never gotten this far. He's relieved it's somebody he really cares about. Deep down, he doesn't think he would do very well with a one night stand or a hook up-- it's taken him this long to really trust someone but also taken this long for him to find somebody who wants to do stuff like this with him.

He exhales slowly when he feels pressure off of his prick and adverts his eyes, honestly feeling embarrassed himself. His hands settle back on Aoba's head, not holding on too tightly. He dips his head backwards against the wall. For once, he's really got nothing to say, so he allows Aoba to do his thing. ]}

[ It's encouraging that their brief conversation and high key nervousness hasn't diminished his excitement, judging from the way he springs out from his underwear. Aoba's never seen this much of Karamatsu (despite his proclivity toward showing skin and nakedness, Aoba was always careful to avert his gaze and shove whatever he could at him if such an event ever occurred. Not wanting him to suffer the embarrassment of arriving first at the party without from too much teasing, Aoba opts instead to lick his lips to wet them and then presses them to the tip of his cock, then rolling his tongue around it as he parts his lips.

Aoba knows what he's doing, at least, and instead of simply taking his sweet time as he did before, he decides that he's going to use every trick he can dare to use. It's a terrible idea if longevity is your goal, but that seems to be an unattainable one this time.

After wetting his dick with his tongue, he wastes no time in swallowing him whole, pushing him into his mouth deep enough until his nose bumps against his body and holds it there, gripping his hips with his hands as he lets him feel the heat of his mouth. He counts to three, then pulls back, sucking as he reaches the crown of his cock again. He's hardly the king of cock-sucking, but he knows a thing or two -- he knows teasing his tongue into the slit at the top is a trigger point, as is the pinched skin of his frenulum. Some guys like having their foreskin toyed with, if they have it. He sticks to mostly the basics, alternating between licks and bobbing his head as he tries to ignore the lewd, wet sounds and slurps as he sucks him off hungrily. The movement makes him wince with the accidental mussing of his hair, but his hands reach back to grip Karamatsu's ass as he bears the discomfort. But the salty-sweet taste of his precome, the scent of him and the familiar feel of a dick pushing into his mouth makes him feel weirdly happy and excited, chasing away his nervousness. ]

Mmh...

_{[ Aoba tells him to relax, but it's really difficult for him to do that when he's nervous. There really shouldn't be any need for him to feel nervous. Karamatsu couldn't explain why, but the butterflies are fluttering rapidly in his stomach, warmth spreading from his cheeks to his ears— from the pit of his stomach to the insides of his thighs. At first, Karamatsu hitches a breath with a startled "ah", fingers grasping into Aoba's hair. To him, it's a very different sensation— he can almost feel each individual bump on Aoba's tongue. More sounds follow with each movement that Aoba makes and already Karamatsu can feel his knees growing weak. It's a lot! Well, for him, it's a whole lot. He groans when he feels his back side gripped, hunching forward as fresh sweat drips off his face. ]}

A-Aoba-kun, it's—
_{[ He gasps for air, forgetting to breathe at one part. ]}

It's a whole lot! Mmn, you know..
_{[ His breathing is growing more and more rapid by each second. ]}

But I— I love it..!
_{[ oh okay.. so expressive.. ]}

Nn! [ Aoba makes a muffled sound and cracks open an eye through the harsher rush of electric sensations running through his hair when it's touched roughly, even the drops of sweat rolling off his skin hurts when it splashes onto his hair. But despite this, he draws back his head to slowly withdraw him from his mouth, only to kiss down the wet underside of his erection. He knows he's really going for broke, taking Karamatsu at his word that he wasn't going to last long anyway, so he focuses on making what little lasting power he has as enjoyable as he can make it.

While he throws himself into expressing the kinds of things he feels about him but can't manage to put into words, to a degree, doing this feeds a sort of addiction. Karamatsu stutters and groans, but it's only when he exclaims that Aoba's attention is yanked briefly away from the indulgent act. He thinks at first how embarrassing, but he's kind of in a daze from excitement, so much so that he doesn't notice when drool starts to drip down his chin. He wonders what it'll be like to hear him lose control, how he'll look or sound. He can't really explain why his curiosity has piqued like this, but he's caught between the instinct to hide his face in shame and wanting more and more. ]

Haah, m-me too...!

[ It's all Aoba can manage to breathe out in an unsteady voice before the urge to hide wins momentarily and he takes one hand away from kneading to use it to grip the base of his erection, directing his cock to his mouth. He swirls his tongue around the tip for longer, using this moment to catch his breath. He pumps his fist gradually as he laves the tip of his cock with his tongue, sucking gently on the head, tasting even more of his arousal seeping from him and spreading through his whole mouth. He hums and huffs little stifled moans against his skin, feeling the act of oral sex dancing over his nerves and shivering down his spine until his own erection strains against the confines of his jeans.

I really love it...

Bowing his back and angling his face to allow him to look up at Karamatsu while he bobs his head, his hand working together to stroke and twist where he mouth can't quite so easily reach, he tries to gauge the intensity of how he feels and also because he really can't help it -- as much as he tends to hide and flinch away from things too scandalous for a good boy to look at... he's really, embarrassingly into it. ]

_{[ It's truly mind blowing to Karamatsu that he's able to experience something like this without bribe or pleading— the very thought that somebody likes him enough to do this for him may be the real reason his chest feels tight and his heart feels fond. Aoba was somebody he had an interest in from day one whether to actually knew it at the time or not, but like all of his pursuits, he knew Aoba was out of his reach-- unattainable. Even now he knows he could mess this up. He'll do something and make Aoba not like him anymore and they'll never be a couple. It's a daunting fear he hates to dwell on, but unfortunately, he dwells on it a lot.

Aoba looks so delicious on his knees like this, showing a scandalous amount of desire in his movements and passion. Karamatsu really cannot get over how pretty he is. He doesn't know anything about receiving or giving blowjobs, but he's already a big fan of having his first one especially with somebody he immensely cares about. He's a lucky guy and he's feeling it.

It's ridiculous how fast his heart is racing, nearly popping out of his chest at this rate. He cannot hear anything but his own wet breathes panting wildly between his ears as his tension builds and builds. His toes curl from inside of his pointed shoes, unable to hold it in much longer, as much as he probably would like to. It's embarrassing when he climaxes for several reasons-- he doesn't even give Aoba any warning either. Mostly he lets out a strangled cry when he releases, hands fumbling awkwardly to cover his mouth and conceal any other noises (with little success.) Another reason was the actual amount of semen he released in several warm spurts into Aoba's mouth or on his face, however, it happens. He's also a little upset some of it got on his pants, but he's feeling too good to even notice it right now.

He crumbles to the floor slowly by sliding down the wall, facing right across Aoba with his legs spread wide apart. He's far too red in the face and he feels it as he pants. ]}

[ It's sad that Karamatsu has had such shit luck in love, even worse that he's thinking that his adventure with love is a mere dalliance, temporary and fleeting for nine dates until his luck has run out. If Aoba knew, he would have had reason to hesitate, to hold back in favor of spelling out for his soulmate that under no uncertain terms is he to think that this is just merely some exchange. This isn't a transaction. Love doesn't have an expiration date, it just comes and goes depending on the type, depending on circumstances that sometimes are out of their control.

But right now he's not thinking of that, he's thinking of the rush of his blood pumping hot, roaring in his ears and his heart hammering against his ribcage. He's thinking of how Karamatsu's body feels under his shirt when he palms up beneath it, or when he grips his ass. How he feels pushing into his mouth and how firm it is in his hand. How the rush of this new experience, in going this far feels with him and how he just wants more and more.

Aoba's head is mid-bob when the first spurt jets out, and in all the action, he's too slow to react until he's already pulsed out once up his cheek and into his bangs, making it a close call to hitting his eye before he forces his lips tighter around his cock. He loosens his jaw, allowing him to jerk into his mouth and flood it with his release. It's hot, it's something he's been craving, this feeling of pride blooming in his chest. Like he sprinted through a marathon and won.

Except he could really do without the acrid bitterness of the taste of it. Karamatsu's taste for meat wrapped in meat and the occasional cigarette has soured the taste of his orgasm into truly horrific levels of bitterness, and Aoba pulls away from him to cough after shuddering through his attempt to swallow. He succeeds, but the taste...! It's awful, but despite it he's left so switched on that it joins the uncomfortable jolt he feels when his hair is touched as a close companion, and some part of him twists it into a form of pleasure.

He focuses less on this and more on the fact that Karamatsu is unsteady on his feet, and he wobbles, slides onto the floor in slow motion, his legs losing their strength in the wake of his orgasm. ]

...Kara-kun. [ He did this, he made him feel this good and all he can think is 'finally', even when come is cooling in his hair and on his cheek, unnoticed as he looks at him. ]

_{[ He tremors slightly as he comes down from his orgasm, regaining his breathing, eyes cracking open halfway and flickering over to his counterpart. So that was it, huh? He's been missing on that for how long now? His entire life, right. It's about time, so yeah. He thinks finally too.

A crooked smile plays on his face as the lingering, tingling sensations trickle and leave his body. He musters enough to speak with joyful vigor. ]}

You can.. do that.. anytime!
_{[ well alright he had fun..
He leans forward, even with as warm as he feels and tries to encourage Aoba against him in an embrace. ]}

[ Aoba falls forward, tumbling into his chest and turning slightly from kneeling to sitting somewhat on his side to lean on him. He covers his mouth with his hand, trying to cover the scent of sex from his breath. ]

Anytime...? [ Aoba laughs, huffing through his fingers. ]

I won't! Not if you say it like that!

[ But that was a rush, he feels exhilarated and an odd sense of accomplishment. He gave Karamatsu an experience no one else has, as far as he knows, and he really gave it his best effort. He feels happy about it, even though he feels like that's something he shouldn't take pride in. He's also in a bad position to rebuke himself for his feelings, particularly since he's so riled up as it is... his judgment is impaired by desire. ]

...It was fun, and I'm glad you liked it. [ Soon after, Aoba covers what little of his face is exposed with his hand, hiding it. ]

_{[ yeah okay good, Aoba seems totally fine with snuggling for a moment despite the mess Karamatsu just made. He can ignore that point for a second because he feels so overjoyed to be with somebody. He'll undoubtedly have some nice visuals to jerk off too next time he's on his own and feeling heated, so that's a bonus.

He burrows his face into the crown of Aoba's head, curving both his arms and his legs around him and hugging him tightly. He should clean up and get fully dressed again, but his haze of happiness is all he feels now. ]}

You were too good to me! Hah, I cannot believe it.. it was probably my favorite thing!
_{[ oh my god he's so vanilla... ]}

[ Karamatsu, you're garbage. But honestly, Aoba's still feeling pretty hot and bothered himself, but is content to just grip him in a tight hug around his waist and bury his face in his shirt. Which is probably getting that stuff all over it, because Aoba fails to notice it because it's body-temperature. Whoops.

It feels good, being this close, being held. Listening to his heart rate slow to normal levels and his voice sounding happy. It's embarrassing, but he can bear it a little more easily with his face hidden against him like this. ]

Lots of people like that, it's nothing special.

[ Aoba shifts slightly, suddenly self-conscious of the lingering taste in his mouth. He wants to rinse the taste out... it's so awful, and he feels self-conscious about the smell, and cups a hand over his mouth. ]

Do you like pineapple, Kara-kun?

It's nothing special? Well, maybe in that sense you're correct but I found it very special.
_{[ Hmmm. ]}

I am fond of the taste but it has been a good while since I have ha anything pineapple flavored.. pineapples included.

[ Aoba rests his cheek on his chest and listens to his heart for a moment, hugging his waist and feeling himself calm in increments. ]

Then you don't hate it. Good.

[ Aoba doesn't elaborate, but he does add a hint in a small voice, because he's feeling a little self-conscious about asking, and wants to put it as delicately as possible. He's asking for a favor, after all. ]

You should try to have some more often, if... um. [ Aoba feels his face heat up immensely, so much so that his blush can be seen even on the tips of his ears. ] If you... like this.

[ He's not really being clear, is he? So he buries his face against his shirt again and says softly. ]

It, um. Makes... [ And the rest is inaudible, his voice too muffled to be heard. ]

I do not! I find them delectable. In fact, now that you mention them, I could eat some right away. Ah! Once I am free from your loving embrace, of course.

_{[ He hears Aoba talking, but he doesn't really follow. It's finally settling in that maybe he should ask if he can shower and borrow some clothes and he guesses... he'll stay for the night? That's allowed, right? ]}

Haaaa? I should try eating it more? Oi, speak up, Aoba-kun! I don't know what you mean.

[ It's not the first time Karamatsu has stayed the night, and Aoba intends to behave himself like last time. Mostly. Maybe. He's still pretty riled up, but he's also amazed at himself that he went this far. He's starting to wonder if this is a habit... him getting into things like this with a guy even before they've had an official date. ]

...You promise?

[ He's seriously going to make him say it, isn't he? Aoba lifts away from his chest, but he keeps avoiding his eyes, unable to look at his face for very long as he tries to explain. THIS IS SERIOUSLY IMPORTANT THOUGH, so he just... needs to bear with the embarrassment. It's just easier said (internally) than done. ]

It, um. Don't take this the wrong way but it kinda... [ Aoba fidgets, glancing up into Karamatsu's face and looking slightly annoyed that he has to basically draw him a diagram, but he tolerates it because this is his first time, after all. He should really take responsibility and explain it properly. ]

Makes you... taste... better.

_{[ taste... better... oh no. He hadn't thought about that, too gracious for the offer and too eager to try this with Aoba. He feels his face heat up again almost instantly when he understands what Aoba is saying and even partially covers it to hide his embarrassment. Man, he really flusters himself sometimes, doesn't he? ]}

Oh no!
_{[ so animated.. ]}

I will.. eat more pineapple more diligently then if that is your suggestion! Ah, you probably know more about.. these kinds of things! I'm sorry I do not. Is there something else I should know?
_{[ He's not completely naive when it comes to things like this, but there's a lot he needs to learn and know. ]}

Kara-kun. It's okay! It's mostly because you like to eat a lot of meat...

[ SO DRAMATIC, KARAMATSU. This is making an embarrassing talk all the more embarrassing. ]

D-don't ask me. I mean, it's not like I'm some kind of professional or something! [ He's just the best bae and/or fandom bicycle of a notorious BL game, this is fine... Aoba shuts his mouth and just carefully lifts his chin to look up into his face, still covering his mouth so his voice is a little muffled. ] I-I kind of went overboard because I was excited about being able to give Kara-kun an experience he hasn't had before. That's all!

[ Aoba flusters through his response and then realizes that some of his hair is clinging painfully to his shirt. It's sticky and tacky and -- OH GOD ]

Heeh?! Is that what I think it is?! [ HE CAME RIGHT IN HIS HAIR AND KARAMATSU'S SHIRT, UGH. ]

Of course you aren't!
_{[ WHAT DOES THAT MEAN LMAO... ]}

But I'm certain with how much you were enjoying that you know a lot more than I do!
_{[ it's actually kind of impressive he's admitting things so easily and not trying to act like something he isn't. Self awareness, man.
He grimaces slightly when Aoba brings to his attention the mess that, well, it was mostly his fault it looks like and he drags his hands down his face slightly. ]}

I-I see, well. it is.. no big deal! We can wash up and I'm sure you have some clothes I can borrow.

S-sorry! I should have checked before messing up your clothes...!

[ Meanwhile Aoba carefully takes his hand off his mouth and peels his hair from his shirt, wincing at the sensation made all the more intense due to the nerves running through his hair. He feels bad for failing to notice, thinking he'd surely swallowed all of it, and internally freaking out about whether Karamatsu is completely turned off by it now. But when he catches sight of Karamatsu clustering as badly as he is, he settles down.

He's doing it again, assuming that Karamatsu will hate him for being dirty, look down on him as a pervert or slut. But he knows better, he wouldn't do that to him... so why does he react like this?

Aoba reaches up to take one of the hands dragging down Karamatsu's face and holds it, brings it to his mouth to kiss the backs of his fingers. ]

You're right. It's true that I enjoy doing it...

Are you-- are you... curious? About it, I mean. Do you think you'd like it too? Or does it gross you out?

Hah! Oh my.. it's quite alright, my sunshine. Perhaps.. I shouldn't have made such a mess, but I.. tch.. simply couldn't help myself..

_{[ That's a very unexpected response from somebody who cares so much about their fashion. He can't simply complain too much especially after experiencing what he just did with somebody he cares about. Though, he would like to get cleaned up promptly. He can only blink rapidly when Aoba takes one of his hands tenderly and kisses it— oh, it's something he's more prone to do. He curves his fingers around Aoba's hand and gives him two squeezes. It's not the first time he's done this; he always seems to squeeze his hand twice.

His stammering words make yet another wave of heat flourish over his cheeks, but Karamatsu cannot help but smile warmly, eyelids growing heavy. He takes a steady breath so ensure his words come out confident if not a bit soothing: ]}

My sweet Aoba-kun.. are you wanting me to taste you from base to tip? Does the thought of having you in my mouth excite you? Is that what you are... suggesting right now?
_{[ look at him, dirty talking. I'm so proud of him. ]}

Edited 2018-05-30 01:47 (UTC)

[ Aoba blinks in surprise, enough that he forgets the way his hair is askew from the 'hold' semen can give, leaving it tacky and kinda... uncomfortably crunchy in texture. The urge to shower will soon return to him but for now he's just surprised to hear that he's absolutely unconcerned about his clothes, the very thing he treasures (and it still remains a mystery as to why).

He's not disgusted after all... he thinks, and that's not the only reassurance he receives either. It's familiar, that touch. It's like the kind of double-tap one does in a movie with zombies in it, only instead of shooting twice in the head, it's a gentle and reassuring touch that comes in pairs to erase the uncertainty or insecurity in Aoba's mind. In other words, it's super effective.

But Aoba's not just kissing his hand, he's also somewhat hiding behind it, looking at him from over his curled fingers with a blush that spreads over his cheeks. He said something forward, but mainly to help ease Karamatsu's momentary anguish and... well, also because it was true. ]

I-I didn't...!! [ W E L L actually, he kind of was. Or at least, denying it feels false at some base level. ] I was just... asking! I mean, in case you're not into that!

[ Even his own defense sounds as flimsy as poorly-prepared paper mache. A red blush floods his skin from hairline and well past his neckline as Aoba starts to deny it out of instinct only to immediately close his mouth, tearing his eyes away to look at nothing in particular.

Oh god, did he just say this kind of filth to him?! More importantly, why did that just make his heart pound? Stay tuned for answers to these burning questions in our next episode!?! ]

Heh.. how would I know? I never tried! Ah, it could be the greatest thing for me. How adventurous.

_{[ He dips his chin upward, thoughtful. He imagines it probably isn't. The only semen he's ever dealt with has been his own and, uh, yeah, we're not going there. Point of the matter is, he's never tried it before so he doesn't know how much he might enjoy giving head.
His eyes drift back down to Aoba and he pulls his hand away, shamelessly sliding his palm down between both of their bodies and right over Aoba's erection. He merely cups him gently here, his head lulling to one of his shoulders. ]}

I know a lot more about using my hand.
_{[ He rubs the pad of his thumb against Aoba, pressing firmer just to rile him up further. ]}

What do you think? Either way, sharing a bath sounds wonderful.
_{[ He never thought he'd be this relaxed when getting physical with someone, but here he is. It's probably because he has been so honest and true with Aoba in the past. ]}

[ There's a look of confusion when Karamatsu takes his hand back, Aoba tipping forward an inch as he instinctively chases after his fingers with his mouth before he catches up with him and just stares, uncomprehending. Answers are not long to come to him, not when he gives a sharp inhale when Karamatsu's hand palms over his still-relentlessly eager erection and Aoba immediately fumbles to catch his wrist in his hand.

His instincts tell him to hide his arousal, to feel shame for it. But the heat radiating from his hand is so exquisite that it evaporates any willingness to resist. Aoba tips his head back, his come-stained hair and his shirt forgotten as the air vacates his lungs in a heated huff as that thumb traces along the hard erection straining through his jeans. There had been time enough to cool down while cuddling, but he gets excited again embarrassingly quickly when Karamatsu touches him.

Aoba feels nervous, but Karamatsu looks so relaxed and natural that it's really surprising. ]

...Do you want to --

[ Aoba is tempted to silence himself, but even as he pauses to wet his lips and swallow -- hard enough to make his throat click dryly -- he can't seem to stem the tide of curiosity that surges. Just what is Karamatsu getting at? Does he want to do stuff... in his bath? ]

Um. Use my bathroom?

[ It's actually the nicest he's ever had. With a tight foyer for undressing and a wider space for showering and scrubbing down before soaking in a tub large enough for three of him to fit in. But Aoba never thought he'd be inviting someone into it so soon. ]

Edited 2018-05-30 10:50 (UTC)

_{[ Feeling such firmness in his hand is making his heart pick up its pace again. His fingers curl, gripping him not too tightly, but enough to get the point across about what he wants. It's hard for him to admit all of the dirty stuff he wants to do, but is too shy of doing.. also doesn't know how to do it. It just messes entirely with his whole cool-guy facade where he's just gonna self destruct if he tries too much. ]}

A bathroom.. it seems more appropriate, right? Ah, we can get all dirty again and clean up right after!
_{[ a romantic lay in a bed of roses on a bed is his ideal, but he doesn't want to overdo it. Ever since he overdid it weeks ago with the present he's been trying his hardest to tiptoe. ]}

[ Aoba will kick himself for going this far later and fret about how slutty he surely has been to take a playful tease all the way to sexual activity without even their first date, but Karamatsu being this forward reminds him of how he was during the festival and how he liked it. It's odd, due to his proclivity towards being over-the-top and extra in every way, but Aoba has a weakness for being pursued. As much as he denies it, even to himself, he loves feeling wanted. It's not a one-sided thing either -- his feelings for Karamatsu turned romantic at some point, without him even being aware of it (or simply in a lot of denial) and those feelings haven't changed.

When Karamatsu's grip tightens slightly, Aoba tips his head back a little and gives a light whine. It's embarrassing, hearing that sound come from him, but he's also desperate for some outlet for his own arousal. Things between them had already escalated further than he had intended for tonight, and the thrill of it has only heightened his excitement and Karamatsu's behavior now not only gives him some relief for his anxious mind, but promises not to leave him wanting. ]

Let's wash up first, before... [ Aoba's flush intensifies and he looks away, which is really difficult considering how close they are. He's trying hard not to think of what kind of dirtying up Karamatsu has in mind. There's a moment when he wants to find out, and starts to tick off several increasingly __ ideas before he diverts his attention elsewhere by force of will, ashamed by his own thirst. He really wants to do a lot with him, to him...but isn't that a little too wild? Shouldn't he pace himself? Aoba slides back away from Karamatsu so he can get up, pulling his hand off him only to use it to help him follow him to his feet. ] Y-you can borrow some of my clothes if you'd like after.

[ Moving is difficult with a needy erection fattening up at the front of his already tight jeans, so he's eager to rid himself of them. Heart pounding at a dizzying rate, he starts to lead him into the change room. Even leading him to the bathroom where they will inevitably strip down to nothing has him nervous, so it's a good thing Karamatsu isn't attempting any rose-carpeted furnishings intended for lovemaking -- everyone knows thorns aren't conducive to sexy times anyway. Usually! Unless you're into that sort of thing.

When Aoba starts to unbuckle his belt (with shaking hands that he tries to hide by turning away) he pauses before undoing his pants. ]

Um... so you know how my hair is... different, right? Don't be alarmed that... you know, the carpets match the drapes.

_{[ He finds that noise that he just got out of his partner is something he enjoys, but he allows Aoba to speak and move freely without being too much of a harassment. He's already unbuckled and out of his pants anyway, so once they stand up, he simply slips out of the bottom half of all of his clothing, trotting behind Aoba in merely his top clothing. Karamatsu never had too much shame in showing off his body, but in this intimate scenario he founds himself a little vulnerable-- not too much since his cock has already been all in Aoba's mouth. He's more rattled about messing around, rewinding the thoughts in his head where he can mimic Aoba and make him feel just as good.

He's lost in all of these thoughts when Aoba speaks to him he snaps back to reality. ]}

Oh, nono, you shouldn't fret. You are as... stunning down there as you are up here on all the things I see about you everyday. Your smile, your voice, your hair.. I-I'm sure you're just as handsome as I have imagined!

_{[ Imagined, huh? Yeah, he's imagined Aoba in all sorts of ways, all the time, usually when he's spending some time by himself with his prick in his head and dirty thoughts in his mind.
Aoba's reluctance only encourages Karamatsu into his space and he'll assist Aoba in taking off his clothes if he will allow him to. He ignores how much he forgets to breathe or how his face is heating up. So far, he's been doing surprisingly well with all of this with it being his first time doing anything like this, but it's the fake confidence that helps him through. In a low murmur, he questions: ]}

My sweet, why are you worried?

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edits this now that I'm more awake

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