bottombitch | IC Contact @ Riverview

[ G-generous, he says. What the hell. ]

You say that like you're not the one doing me a favor, agreeing to my silly request.

[ Honestly, now that he's gone and said it, he feels a little like that guilt he's been holding onto is lighter. Except now he's nervous. He's already offered it, so there's no backing down now. ]

Um, Kara-kun... [ Aoba drops his eyes for a moment, remembering what Ichimatsu had told him. Then those strangers on the network too. Ichimatsu said he'd been 'leading him on', which he instinctively thinks that couldn't be further from the truth, but it doesn't matter what he thinks. What matters is what Karamatsu thinks. Those other people, they said to just be honest. And let himself have some fun without feeling like he's 'supposed' to do something. He's trying to put it all into practice, but it's not easy. ]

Tonight doesn't count. As far as I'm concerned, I just spent the last few hours hanging out with some celebrities.

Oh, but of course not. It doesn't have to! I don't know why you're worrying so much about what counts and what doesn't.
After all.. it sounds like it's me you want to go on the dates with, right?
_{[ Just hearing stuff like that makes him so giddy and happy and it shows on his face like sunshine. ]}

You and I can go karaoke again another night. How's that?

You love karaoke, don't you?

[ It makes sense, he loves to perform. Basically spends every waking moment deep in a performance, but that's also kind of cute... when it's not making him want to hide his face and die of embarrassment, that is. But then there's moments like this where he smiles radiantly and genuinely, the total absence of trying to pose for what must be the most ninja-like paparazzi that ever existed (hint: they don't).

Aoba slips his hand in Karamatsu's and bumps their shoulders together as he stands at his side. ]

Are you still going to walk me home? We could have a drink, and I'm not at the hotel anymore!

I love who I become when a karaoke, yes. A singer.. a star! It makes me even happier that you would refer us sing together.. like this. I suppose I wanted to impress you with the different look I as able to have.

_{[ He looks down at their hands once Aoba holds his-- it's not uncommon for them to be doing stuff like this now but it always seems to make Karamatsu feel warm on the inside. ]}

If that is what you desire, I have no choice then, hm? I'm here to do what I can to make you happy.

[ As over the top as Karamatsu gets, Aoba has learned to appreciate this side of him. The dreamer. He's always got his head in the clouds, trying to reach heaven. He doesn't like why he's like this, but if he's happy then how he copes with life isn't really an issue.

Aoba squeezes his hand. It feels odd to do this, when he's kind of kept him a little at arm's length ever since things heated up unexpectedly... but it's not weird. He doesn't quite remember when he started touching him more often, in a friendly sense, but now it just feels different. Like the inside of him is hollow and filled with butterflies with soft, fluttering wings. He's a little nervous, but not in a bad way. ]

I know it's probably strange of me to say, but a part of me feels happy that you're trying so hard.

[ It feels like it's been a while since someone did that. Tried to get his attention, his affection. It's oddly flattering, even if it makes him feel a little guilty that he had to go this far to do so. The last thing he wants is to make him feel like he has to when he already appreciates him for who he is. ]

...Sorry, I'm not trying to send mixed messages. It's a little hard to describe.

Thanks, I guess, for boosting my self-esteem - but I wouldn't want to come at a price of yours so... let me return the favor.

Mmm..
_{[ He hums in thought. As of late he's been keeping all of his emotions and adoration restrained like he figured Aoba wanted. When he first started showing an interest in Aoba it was overbearing, but now he seems pleased that he's trying a lot. If Karamatsu were honest with himself he would say it's exhausting.
Instead, any look of thought is replaced with a smile as always. He returns by squeezing Aoba's hand twice-- something he's been doing often. ]}

W-Well, I..
_{[ It's unfair— staying in a limbo while he waits for Aoba to feel comfortable about the idea— but he's too nice to bring it up. ]}

I would just like to date you no matter what it takes I suppose.
_{[ he swings their hands gently, looking away from him entirely. ]}

It's foolish if I think about it too much, so I don't. I just continue to wait.

[ After a while, Aoba slows down and stops, staring at his feet. He's been trying this hard and waiting, and that makes his insides feel like they're weighed down with a stone. This must be what 'leading him on' means. Making him wait and pine away, just like he's waiting and pining away for something that won't return to him. It still feels like the right and honorable thing to do, but when he thinks about it... Isn't he just passing on that pain along for no reason? ]

...I had this crazy idea that, in order to do right by you and myself, I needed to empty my heart of anyone else first. But recently I became aware that this is a pretty common problem, losing someone you care about. Particularly here.

So, if you're okay knowing that some part of me is hanging on -- or maybe just mourning for the past, then... why... wait?

[ Aoba's voice wavers. He's a little unsteady, admitting this much and without the comfort of being anonymous. It was hard enough to talk about this when no one could tell who he was, but it's that much harder being so direct. ]

Ah, the place is at the corner of this block. [ A pause. ] You should... come inside to see it.

_{[ Aoba is explaining his feelings about all of this and by now Karamatsu can only give him as much attention as he can muster. He's never been engaged or in any sort of serious relationship (his flower fairy girl doesn't count) so he doesn't know what it is like to have somebody suddenly leave. Karamatsu would be lying if he said he didn't have feelings for somebody else which was something he worried about when he first arrived on the Eluvio, actually.

He presses his thumb into Aoba's hand. He doesn't feel like mentioning Totoko and how he still misses her and would like to date her. Especially when it sounds like Aoba just accepted his proposal just now. ]}

Wait... eh? What do you mean.. 'why wait'?
_{[ oh but yeah, there's his place up ahead. ]}

Of course! I would love to see it.

Why wait on trying this out. [ At the press of his thumb into his skin, he turns to look at him earnestly, but the frankness of the conversation is turning his cheeks pink. ] ...You and me, seeing where this goes.

[ He thinks about that time in the club, where things heated up very quickly thanks to the festivities, but then nothing much happened and he knows it was because he was throwing up barriers and trying to protect their friendship, but then it came at a cost too when he asserted those boundaries when all Karamatsu wanted was to be closer to him. He's... trying to remedy this. ]

I - I mean it's pretty obvious we like each other. More than friends or soulmates. And it's not exactly unusual for people to be missing someone or something from home, but...

[ Aoba coughs to cover his embarrassment, turning to face the door and unlocking it with his Coil. It's a small urban house with a raised foyer, which he sits on to pull off his shoes. Inside, it's pretty sparsely decorated, and there are a few boxes seen in an open closet. There's a screen for watching programs or connecting to his comm device that's been positioned in front of a kotatsu, now off for the warmer season. A few cabinets to hold books and other knickknacks, but largely bare. ]

Turns out you can just have an old place gutted and configured how you like it. The commute isn't bad at all, but I like that it's just enough out of the way that it's a little quieter.

It's certainly better than a hotel room.

_{[ He follows along at an even pace. The way that Aoba says this so casually catches him off guard to say the least. Actually, there was a lot of doubt in his heart that Aoba would even give into his pursuit, so there's a pretty stunned expression on his face once they enter his house.
Karamatsu simply gives it a brief look before placing both of his hands on Aoba's shoulders to look up at him square in the eyes. ]}

I-I mean, let me understand this.. clearly! You're wanting to finally go out with me..?
_{[ it's an nice house, really empty, but this is distracting him from admiring Aoba's place. ]}

[ Aoba looks at him again, then nods. ]

Y-yeah. I mean. I thought maybe... it might be easier if we try it for 9 dates. So there's no pressure!

...I'm afraid of doing or saying something to sour what we have... and I was worried that you might feel bad because I still have feelings for someone else, feelings that I don't know if or when they'll go away.

[ Just thinking about damaging that makes his insides twist uncomfortably, so much so that he's been twisting himself up into knots before finally deciding to try some sort of compromise. Something they can go into with eyes open. ]

But I heard that's common around here. So if you're okay with that... I - I'd like to, um. Try something... romantic.

_{[ Oh, okay. It's making more sense to him. Karamatsu had this same kind of worry when he first met up with Aoba to his "soul mate" and it ended up being Aoba and not Totoko. ]}

Nine dates.. yes.. but what is to happen after these nine dates? How romantic should these dates be then if you're saying you want to try something 'romantic'? You know, I can very certainly tell you how I will feel after these nine dates!
_{[ Before Aoba can answer those questions, though, he feels like maybe he should be clear about something too: ]}

If you makes you feel better, there are also feelings I have for somebody else who isn't here. I think that is also important for you to know, but since she is not here, well..
_{[ He stands on his tip toes and bumps his nose against Aoba's. ]}

I will accept these nine dates, of course, but I already know I want you to be my lover.

[ Aoba's eyes stare back wide and curious, even when he bumps their noses together. He blinks when they do but otherwise he's just a little surprised. After all this time, he's still so smitten. It makes sense, in a way, but he's been the type who lets go and thinks 'it wasn't meant to be' or 'it can't be helped'... Karamatsu continues to reach even when it's clear to most people that it's pointless. ]

The one you were hoping you were soulmates with... back then. Totoko-chan?

[ Slipping his arms around Karamatsu's waist, he tugs him closer. He wonders what she's like. This unattainable goddess he and his brothers seem to adore. What's she like? What does she do? What if he doesn't measure up? He's a boy, after all, so that's one glaring difference...

There's little point to comparing himself to a ghost, so he pushes the thought aside for the moment. ]

She must be something special to be adored for so long by someone I feel so strongly for.

[ He wonders if Karamatsu knows what he's trying to commit to -- Ichimatsu said he has no experience, so he's going into this blind. The words themselves are lovely, but after what Ichimatsu said... he wonders if he's more in love with the idea of being with someone than he is with him specifically. ]

Kara-kun, it's okay if you change your mind. After nine dates, I'm still your soulmate no matter what happens.

Mm, yes. It's her, but Osomatsu-niisan and I talked about her awhile back. He eased me into pursuing other people-- well, at least one person.

_{[ Unfortunately, it's a bit of that. Out of all of them, Karamatsu is arguably the one who is the most in love with the aspect of being in love. He does appreciate that Aoba is being more open about what's been going on with him lately-- but Aoba has been nothing but a good friend to him. He does like him a lot so there's a lot of truth to his feeling.

He's smiling, and he presses his lips against Aoba's, but not directly kissing him. ]}

.. The same goes for you.
_{[ Karamatsu won't admit it, but there's a sinking feeling in his stomach that after these nine dates, Aoba won't have anything to do with him. ]}

[ H-hang on. Osomatsu?! Aoba wonders just what he means by 'pursuing' and what kind of advice his free-spirited older brother gave him. ]

At least one person -- mn!

[ His words are interrupted only by the light touch of lips, not enough to stop his words but it's his own self-consciousness that does it. It's like he's pressing his smile against his mouth, not really kissing but more akin to... maybe skin-ship? It's not something Aoba's really used to, not at this level at least. ]

But in the meantime... [ Aoba dips his face down alongside Karamatsu's, hugging him around the waist until he's flush against him as he had been when the tables were turned. Then, mimicking him when not too long ago, when he was taller and hunkier -- he kisses the lobe of his ear. ]

_{[ It's been a weird night for Karamatsu. Honestly, his emotions have been in all sorts of directions. What he doesn't expect is this sudden forceful affection that Aoba is giving him. It's not like he doesn't like it, but it surprises him more than anything.. and it's also embarrassing that Aoba is doing it better than he was when he was taller than him.

He's been thinking about Aoba a lot lately and a part of him wants to really ask what Aoba is doing, but another part of him doesn't care-- he's careless with his emotions. No matter how strongly he might feel for his friend, in the back of his mind he knows it's all going to hopelessly crumble, so he might as well enjoy this intimacy while he can instead of questioning it.

He curves his arms around him, head tilting to press the side of his face closer to Aoba, encouraging him. He steadies his breath, trying not to get over excited over something so minimal. ]}

A-ah, is this revenge you're getting for how I treated you earlier, then?

Maybe...

[ Karamatsu's perception differs wildly from Aoba's in this regard -- he's too aware of how nervously he holds him, how fast his heart drums and if he can feel it. Where Karamatsu sees confidence, Aoba only sees his own shortcomings, like how he feels like he's always about to freeze up, paralyzed by uncertainty as he asks himself just what is he doing? Does he like this? He thinks so, given he's only getting closer. Aoba knows how speaking into his ear earlier made him feel warm and restless, but it was different because that was with someone who, at the time, want Karamatsu. But if he tried it now... he has no idea how he'd react. So he thinks, why not give him a taste of his own medicine, just for putting him in such a position... but then realizes that in doing so, that feeling returned. It's... kind of exciting. ]

But honestly this doesn't compare to what you did... right in public too, that was a shock.

[ It was a miracle none of his fans had been around, to hear that squealing again would have been too much. Aoba pulls back to look at him. ]

I wonder how I'll get my revenge now? Any ideas, Kara-kun?

Heh.. it's a little possessive, I guess— what I did. I'm sorry. I guess it's a selfish impulse to try and show people, anyone watching, that I.. really like you.
_{[ He sounds very sincere in his voice, but it's wavering slightly from being nervous. He has a right to be nervous-- Karamatsu really hasn't gotten hot and heavy with anyone else besides Aoba at this point. He's embarrassed to admit he doesn't know what to do next, so he'll just talk and see what Aoba wants to do.

He looks up at his friend, finding desperately a way to shovel down all of the strong feelings he has for him but it's really useless at this point. He's resisting because he's doubtful Aoba will ever be his boyfriend. After these nine dates he'll probably just leave him in the dust because that's what everyone does-- take advantage of him and go on their merry way. It's pathetic that Karamatsu isn't more cautious of people who treat him that way. ]}

Ah, I have plenty of them.. but they are all secrets!

[ If Aoba had so much of a hint that Karamatsu was already dooming their trial to failure, he'd probably be a bit more desperate, but he feels a little more relaxed now... away from the stage that was the sidewalk with any eyes on them. He also feels better having told him how he felt -- that his heart still longed for someone that wasn't him -- something they both felt for different people, both not here -- and having admitted his fears and hopes. He vastly underestimates Karamatsu's long history with disappointment and the inevitability that clings to it like stale cigarette smoke. ]

A little possessive.

[ He finds that, to a degree, he actually likes it. It's like when someone else he knew would get jealous over something benign. He'd get all sullen and pouty and Aoba would wonder what caused the sudden shift until he all but tripped over the very thing that had made him jealous and then burst into laughter over it. But this is a little different. As much as he hates to admit it, when it's someone he likes... being held or crowded in on even when he's flustered is actually nice, exciting. He's learning the same now, with the challenging look he's getting from Karamatsu now. ]

So I'm supposed to guess... [ A pause and Aoba draws closer to him, his mouth barely an inch away. He touches the side of his face with his free hand, his thumb tracing along his jawline. ] Am I getting warmer or colder?

_{[ Let's face it. Karamatsu is absolute shit when it comes to keeping a cool and calm demeanor in moments of intimacy. The way he flexes his fingers against the back of Aoba's shirt and twists one of his knees toward is indication that the simple closeness and teasing is getting to him. However, a dumb, lopsided smirk plays on his face.
Aoba can probably see the flush an feel the warmth on his face. ]}

You expect me to give you clues? Hah, I'm a mystery man!
_{[ actually he's just curious what Aoba is gonna do tbh.. ]}

[ Aoba's pretty much like minded in this regard -- the urge to run or hide his face when anything starts to heat up is strong, lessened when there's no chance that anyone else can see or hear, but so self-conscious that even hearing himself sets him into a fluster. Karamatsu puts on a brave front, but from this close it's clear he's just as nervous. That nervousness is infectious and it's all too easy to chicken out.

Aoba tries to focus on his eyes and ignore the flush that threatens to deepen his own, steels himself by inwardly reassuring himself.

I don't have to feel guilty about this. It's normal to enjoy this kind of relationship.

...Besides, I've wanted to do this for a while now.

Sinking down to his knees, and on the way Aoba kisses his neck and collarbone from over his shirt, his hands trailing over his stomach and pushing the white jacket away. Kneeling in front of him is kind of more than suggestive, and he doesn't take his eyes away from his, which takes significant effort seeing his proclivity towards shyness. ]

Warmer?

_{[ Karamatsu is very perceptive otherwise he might have noticed the way that Aoba's cheeks tint and the way his body warms even when he's taking the lead with.. whatever was happening. He wasn't sure what had gotten into Aoba to make him get physical with him, but he certainly isn't complaining. After all, whatever fun they're gonna have will be short lived so Karamatsu better enjoy it while he can.
He wants to follow after Aoba's lips, making soft hums at each individual touch but then.. he realizes the position that Aoba is in.

He's innocent, but also dirty minded enough. Isn't this something he's seen on a porno before? ]}

Oi, Aoba-kun.. what are you doing?
_{[ not gonna answer his questions cause yeah he's very warm.. ]}

[ Who knows what's possessed Aoba at this moment or any other when he decides to take hold of the reigns of his own life. When he ignores all the red flags and warning signs that urge him to run and hide and instead surges forward toward what he wants. He's allowed this. He can enjoy himself. He can indulge like this especially because he has explained himself... hasn't he?

Aoba watches as Karamatsu's flushed face chases after his mouth as he drops to his knees and thinks it unspoken words of encouragement. Body language. ]

Whatever you want.

[ Aoba plucks at the buckle of his belt, starting to pull it loose along with the top button of his pants and the soft purr of his zipper drawn down along its track. He can feel his own heart hammering wildly in his chest and his blood roaring in his ears. He rubs his cheek against his stomach as he smiles up at him, teasing. ]

So... am I getting warmer? Or colder? [ He asks as he pulls down his fly and tugs open the front of his pants. ]

_{[ Sometimes body language is all you can go off of when it comes to Karamatsu in a situation like this. He's accustomed to be the one pursuing somebody else, not being pursued.. especially when it came to intimacy. He thinks he looks nothing like the images that he wants to model himself after-- nothing desirable. He can't outwardly show that kind of low self esteem, but he finds it's important to be a little more true to yourself in a scenario like this with close contact.

He knows exactly what Aoba is doing despite his question. A bunch of nerves surge through his body and he already finds his knees locking. He steadies himself by putting his hand on Aoba's head, gentle as he remembers Aoba doesn't like being touched there.
He swallows thickly and tears his gaze away from him, looking forward instead. It's too hot to look at him right now! God, he's such a virgin. ]}

D-Don't be silly, you know exactly what you're doing. I don't have to answer that at all, it should be obvious!
_{[ His heart pounds rapidly. He's never had somebody do this for him, but he's too eager to find out what it feels like to turn Aoba down. ]}

That's kind of cute, Kara-kun.

[ It's so relatable, too. When he's flustered like this, it's impossible to speak, let alone answer these kinds of questions. He's embarrassed and nervous, but likely excited and curious. It's not to say Aoba isn't himself, but he's amusing himself with the fact he's getting this kind of response out of him. He closes his eyes briefly at the hand in his hair, feeling his nerves tingle a little uncomfortably but he's being so gentle that he doesn't mind it.

He knows his hair is one of his favorite things about him, so it's fine to let him indulge in touching it... especially since he's being so careful. And something about the fact that he likes him so much that he's willing to allow it makes him feel stupidly warm and gushy inside. How embarrassing. ]

It's okay, you can touch me as much as you'd like.

[ It's also working himself up, this gradual approach of taking his sweet time versus hauling his dick out to suck. He instead runs his hands up and down the front of his thighs from over his jeans as he presses a kiss on his skin just below his navel, inching his way down until he mouths over the shape of him in his underwear, breathing out so that hot air pools into the cloth. He closes his eyes to focus on his senses, catching the familiar masculine scent and feeling his body through his clothes... he realizes it's been a while, so now that he's taken the plunge and initiated this, he acknowledges just how thirsty he really is and accepts it with a hot flush on his face. He opens his mouth and angles his face to trace his tongue along the shape of his cock through his underwear, teasing him to increase his excitement. ]

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

cw: in case I neglected to mention, smut starts here AVERT THINE EYES