bottombitch | IC Contact @ Riverview

You... liked this. Oh. Okay.

[ This is an entirely different matter then. Aoba thinks about this for a moment, dropping his eyes to the ground. If he had become someone else, like a girl or a puppy or something... sure, it would be difficult, but if it's what he wanted to be...

Aoba looks up again, smiling sheepishly. If this is something he wants, then he has to support it! Even if he's not used to it or thinks it was necessary. ]

Well, if this is really what you want, that's fine. I just don't want you to think -- you know...

[ That he was holding back because Karamatsu lacked in some way. He doesn't want him to think that at all. But if this makes him happy, then... ]

I wouldn't have changed anything about you, but that's also not my choice at all. Do you understand what I'm saying?

Mm.. but it's pretty fake, isn't it?
_{[ He laughs weakly and adverts his gaze. ]}

When am I not faking, though.. _{[ Ichimatsu keeps pointing that out about him and he knows he is right. ]}

But uh.. you said you wouldn't change anything at all about me? Even being shorter.. and not muscular.. just being.. whatever I'm supposed to be outside of this?

[ Aoba flusters. Waving his hands to try to keep Karamatsu with him and not plummet into a depressed mood. ]

It... it doesn't matter to me if it's fake! I mean, if this is important to you... you have my support! 100%!

[ He realizes he's treading dangerous territory. He wants Karamatsu to feel comfortable in his skin, not influence how he should look. Not... not to this degree. Quietly, he reaches out and puts his hands on his arms, then sliding them down to take his hands in his. ]

M-my soulmate came to me in a smaller package, one that I needed to handle gently. I'm just used to that.

I still like you no matter how you look on the outside.

I..
_{[ Well, timing is great, because a few seconds after Aoba says that, in a small puff of smoke, Karamatsu returns to his normal form without any kind of sign or warning. The cloud subsides and Karamatsu is seen again, smaller, less attractive and hardly any tone on his body at all.

He reacts a bit startled from his sudden transformation, drawing back his hands so he can place them over his own body and looks down at his hands to confirm that is what happened to him just now. If Aoba looks carefully, there's little tears seeping into the corners of his eyes. ]}

[ In shock, Aoba shields himself from the puff of smoke, waving his hand to clear the air in front of his face as he squints back at him. He hasn't a clue what caused that, but as soon as his eyes adjust, he realizes he needs to lower his gaze. He's back to his normal, noodle-armed self. Aoba's expression softens with recognition and he inwardly breathes a sigh of relief. It's not like he hated that look on him...it was just an adjustment he wasn't sure how to handle -- he was just determined to support whatever decision he made and wing it. ]

There you are.

[ Something about Karamatsu's expression looks a little sad, maybe frustrated. Like when you're enjoying something fun and suddenly the power goes out or you realize you've run out of tokens. Aoba steps up to him, lifts his arms and drapes them over his shoulders again, bumping his forehead against his. ]

If you really want me to, I can give you some more of those flowers. Personally... I don't think you need them. If you were enjoying them, I don't mind.

...Can I ask you a question, though?

_{[ Karamatsu isn't exactly upset that he's lost his ability out of nowhere, but he's actually more touched that Aoba would say those things about who he really is. He blinks rapidly a few times when he feels his head bump with his and reluctantly looks back into his eyes. ]}

A-Ah, yes.. of course. You can ask me anything! I will search the deepest parts of my soul for an answer.

Edited 2018-05-04 01:56 (UTC)

Hehe~

You shouldn't have to reach that far for an answer.

[ Aoba grins, pulling back to look down into his face and squeezes him with a hug. Yeah, they're out in public and only a moment ago Aoba was mildly freaking out over all the unexpected touching happening but. It's so different when he knows it's him. ]

...What were you going to do if I had said yes and you went back to normal at a bad time?

[ His smile looks a little mischievous. ]

_{[ Karamatsu makes a slight squeak when Aoba embraces him tightly but he reciprocates and encloses Aoba in his arms too, burrowing into his neck, his go to place to snuggle. He huffs out a small embarrassed laugh against his friend. ]}

There is no bad time! Only Fate.
_{[ there he goes.. ]}

What would be an example of a bad time?

[ Okay, if there's something Karamatsu is good at. It's hugs. They're warm and tight, definitely embarrassing but... it's okay. ]

An... example...

[ Ah, it backfired. Aoba's face reddens and he ends up sputtering at the idea of saying what he means. He should know! He was just cozying up to the idea thanks to those words spoken into his ear and wandering hands. ]

D-do I really need to spell it out for you? It was you who was propositioning we do this-or-that thing, wasn't it?

[ He didn't say that, Aoba, but also it's a little too much to start trying to whisper the same things into his ear so he chickens out and changes the subject. ]

Um. Hey... I've been thinking.

Maybe if you're fine with it... you can consider going on... nine dates with me.

_{[ It's a little weird being back in his old body after he had spent most of the day being taller and more handsome, but Aoba's reassurance about him being fine the way he is makes him act normal. He pulls away slightly, just enough to give them some space. Well, yes, he was the one suggesting some dirty things there a few minutes ago, but he hadn't expected Aoba to accept what he was implying, even in his other form.

He blinks owlishly up at him, pink spreading over his face at the very thought. Oh goodness. ]}

O-oh.. oh.

_{[ He doesn't have time to really react because Aoba throws him off guard with his next suggestion and he takes a good step back at Aoba, breaking off from him so he can properly exclaim: ]}

E-Eh!? Nine dates!?

[ If he's honest, the thought had crossed Aoba's mind to accept. It was fleeting and he promptly squashed it. He's not that kind of guy ~~except he really is~~. Just like he's briskly pushing past the sexy topic before his face spontaneously ignites.

But once Karamatsu jolts back in shock about his suggestion, Aoba sails right into a fluster. ]

Is that... no good? I-I mean, it'll give us time to see if we want to be friends or more -- and it's a super lucky number so I thought...

[ That he can't possibly fuck it up, and luck would be on his side to ensure their friendship stands the test. It sounds WAY lamer than it did in his head, though. ]

I-it's just that I like you and I don't really know what I'm doing. So I thought... maybe we could... give it a shot... and see how it goes?

N-no, it isn't that, it's just..
_{[ Aoba is right, it's a super lucky number! That's really cute. Karamatsu didn't get it at first, but now.. ]}

Aoba-kun, it's very generous! I can't think of a better number to go with!
_{[ He's trying not to show too much eagerness. After all, Aoba seemed to shoot him down at first when he was bombarding him with presents. it looks like he learned from it. ]}

Nine dates, ah, I never thought--
_{[ --that he could get nine dates with one singular person. He looks overjoyed to say the least. ]}

[ G-generous, he says. What the hell. ]

You say that like you're not the one doing me a favor, agreeing to my silly request.

[ Honestly, now that he's gone and said it, he feels a little like that guilt he's been holding onto is lighter. Except now he's nervous. He's already offered it, so there's no backing down now. ]

Um, Kara-kun... [ Aoba drops his eyes for a moment, remembering what Ichimatsu had told him. Then those strangers on the network too. Ichimatsu said he'd been 'leading him on', which he instinctively thinks that couldn't be further from the truth, but it doesn't matter what he thinks. What matters is what Karamatsu thinks. Those other people, they said to just be honest. And let himself have some fun without feeling like he's 'supposed' to do something. He's trying to put it all into practice, but it's not easy. ]

Tonight doesn't count. As far as I'm concerned, I just spent the last few hours hanging out with some celebrities.

Oh, but of course not. It doesn't have to! I don't know why you're worrying so much about what counts and what doesn't.
After all.. it sounds like it's me you want to go on the dates with, right?
_{[ Just hearing stuff like that makes him so giddy and happy and it shows on his face like sunshine. ]}

You and I can go karaoke again another night. How's that?

You love karaoke, don't you?

[ It makes sense, he loves to perform. Basically spends every waking moment deep in a performance, but that's also kind of cute... when it's not making him want to hide his face and die of embarrassment, that is. But then there's moments like this where he smiles radiantly and genuinely, the total absence of trying to pose for what must be the most ninja-like paparazzi that ever existed (hint: they don't).

Aoba slips his hand in Karamatsu's and bumps their shoulders together as he stands at his side. ]

Are you still going to walk me home? We could have a drink, and I'm not at the hotel anymore!

I love who I become when a karaoke, yes. A singer.. a star! It makes me even happier that you would refer us sing together.. like this. I suppose I wanted to impress you with the different look I as able to have.

_{[ He looks down at their hands once Aoba holds his-- it's not uncommon for them to be doing stuff like this now but it always seems to make Karamatsu feel warm on the inside. ]}

If that is what you desire, I have no choice then, hm? I'm here to do what I can to make you happy.

[ As over the top as Karamatsu gets, Aoba has learned to appreciate this side of him. The dreamer. He's always got his head in the clouds, trying to reach heaven. He doesn't like why he's like this, but if he's happy then how he copes with life isn't really an issue.

Aoba squeezes his hand. It feels odd to do this, when he's kind of kept him a little at arm's length ever since things heated up unexpectedly... but it's not weird. He doesn't quite remember when he started touching him more often, in a friendly sense, but now it just feels different. Like the inside of him is hollow and filled with butterflies with soft, fluttering wings. He's a little nervous, but not in a bad way. ]

I know it's probably strange of me to say, but a part of me feels happy that you're trying so hard.

[ It feels like it's been a while since someone did that. Tried to get his attention, his affection. It's oddly flattering, even if it makes him feel a little guilty that he had to go this far to do so. The last thing he wants is to make him feel like he has to when he already appreciates him for who he is. ]

...Sorry, I'm not trying to send mixed messages. It's a little hard to describe.

Thanks, I guess, for boosting my self-esteem - but I wouldn't want to come at a price of yours so... let me return the favor.

Mmm..
_{[ He hums in thought. As of late he's been keeping all of his emotions and adoration restrained like he figured Aoba wanted. When he first started showing an interest in Aoba it was overbearing, but now he seems pleased that he's trying a lot. If Karamatsu were honest with himself he would say it's exhausting.
Instead, any look of thought is replaced with a smile as always. He returns by squeezing Aoba's hand twice-- something he's been doing often. ]}

W-Well, I..
_{[ It's unfair— staying in a limbo while he waits for Aoba to feel comfortable about the idea— but he's too nice to bring it up. ]}

I would just like to date you no matter what it takes I suppose.
_{[ he swings their hands gently, looking away from him entirely. ]}

It's foolish if I think about it too much, so I don't. I just continue to wait.

[ After a while, Aoba slows down and stops, staring at his feet. He's been trying this hard and waiting, and that makes his insides feel like they're weighed down with a stone. This must be what 'leading him on' means. Making him wait and pine away, just like he's waiting and pining away for something that won't return to him. It still feels like the right and honorable thing to do, but when he thinks about it... Isn't he just passing on that pain along for no reason? ]

...I had this crazy idea that, in order to do right by you and myself, I needed to empty my heart of anyone else first. But recently I became aware that this is a pretty common problem, losing someone you care about. Particularly here.

So, if you're okay knowing that some part of me is hanging on -- or maybe just mourning for the past, then... why... wait?

[ Aoba's voice wavers. He's a little unsteady, admitting this much and without the comfort of being anonymous. It was hard enough to talk about this when no one could tell who he was, but it's that much harder being so direct. ]

Ah, the place is at the corner of this block. [ A pause. ] You should... come inside to see it.

_{[ Aoba is explaining his feelings about all of this and by now Karamatsu can only give him as much attention as he can muster. He's never been engaged or in any sort of serious relationship (his flower fairy girl doesn't count) so he doesn't know what it is like to have somebody suddenly leave. Karamatsu would be lying if he said he didn't have feelings for somebody else which was something he worried about when he first arrived on the Eluvio, actually.

He presses his thumb into Aoba's hand. He doesn't feel like mentioning Totoko and how he still misses her and would like to date her. Especially when it sounds like Aoba just accepted his proposal just now. ]}

Wait... eh? What do you mean.. 'why wait'?
_{[ oh but yeah, there's his place up ahead. ]}

Of course! I would love to see it.

Why wait on trying this out. [ At the press of his thumb into his skin, he turns to look at him earnestly, but the frankness of the conversation is turning his cheeks pink. ] ...You and me, seeing where this goes.

[ He thinks about that time in the club, where things heated up very quickly thanks to the festivities, but then nothing much happened and he knows it was because he was throwing up barriers and trying to protect their friendship, but then it came at a cost too when he asserted those boundaries when all Karamatsu wanted was to be closer to him. He's... trying to remedy this. ]

I - I mean it's pretty obvious we like each other. More than friends or soulmates. And it's not exactly unusual for people to be missing someone or something from home, but...

[ Aoba coughs to cover his embarrassment, turning to face the door and unlocking it with his Coil. It's a small urban house with a raised foyer, which he sits on to pull off his shoes. Inside, it's pretty sparsely decorated, and there are a few boxes seen in an open closet. There's a screen for watching programs or connecting to his comm device that's been positioned in front of a kotatsu, now off for the warmer season. A few cabinets to hold books and other knickknacks, but largely bare. ]

Turns out you can just have an old place gutted and configured how you like it. The commute isn't bad at all, but I like that it's just enough out of the way that it's a little quieter.

It's certainly better than a hotel room.

_{[ He follows along at an even pace. The way that Aoba says this so casually catches him off guard to say the least. Actually, there was a lot of doubt in his heart that Aoba would even give into his pursuit, so there's a pretty stunned expression on his face once they enter his house.
Karamatsu simply gives it a brief look before placing both of his hands on Aoba's shoulders to look up at him square in the eyes. ]}

I-I mean, let me understand this.. clearly! You're wanting to finally go out with me..?
_{[ it's an nice house, really empty, but this is distracting him from admiring Aoba's place. ]}

[ Aoba looks at him again, then nods. ]

Y-yeah. I mean. I thought maybe... it might be easier if we try it for 9 dates. So there's no pressure!

...I'm afraid of doing or saying something to sour what we have... and I was worried that you might feel bad because I still have feelings for someone else, feelings that I don't know if or when they'll go away.

[ Just thinking about damaging that makes his insides twist uncomfortably, so much so that he's been twisting himself up into knots before finally deciding to try some sort of compromise. Something they can go into with eyes open. ]

But I heard that's common around here. So if you're okay with that... I - I'd like to, um. Try something... romantic.

_{[ Oh, okay. It's making more sense to him. Karamatsu had this same kind of worry when he first met up with Aoba to his "soul mate" and it ended up being Aoba and not Totoko. ]}

Nine dates.. yes.. but what is to happen after these nine dates? How romantic should these dates be then if you're saying you want to try something 'romantic'? You know, I can very certainly tell you how I will feel after these nine dates!
_{[ Before Aoba can answer those questions, though, he feels like maybe he should be clear about something too: ]}

If you makes you feel better, there are also feelings I have for somebody else who isn't here. I think that is also important for you to know, but since she is not here, well..
_{[ He stands on his tip toes and bumps his nose against Aoba's. ]}

I will accept these nine dates, of course, but I already know I want you to be my lover.

[ Aoba's eyes stare back wide and curious, even when he bumps their noses together. He blinks when they do but otherwise he's just a little surprised. After all this time, he's still so smitten. It makes sense, in a way, but he's been the type who lets go and thinks 'it wasn't meant to be' or 'it can't be helped'... Karamatsu continues to reach even when it's clear to most people that it's pointless. ]

The one you were hoping you were soulmates with... back then. Totoko-chan?

[ Slipping his arms around Karamatsu's waist, he tugs him closer. He wonders what she's like. This unattainable goddess he and his brothers seem to adore. What's she like? What does she do? What if he doesn't measure up? He's a boy, after all, so that's one glaring difference...

There's little point to comparing himself to a ghost, so he pushes the thought aside for the moment. ]

She must be something special to be adored for so long by someone I feel so strongly for.

[ He wonders if Karamatsu knows what he's trying to commit to -- Ichimatsu said he has no experience, so he's going into this blind. The words themselves are lovely, but after what Ichimatsu said... he wonders if he's more in love with the idea of being with someone than he is with him specifically. ]

Kara-kun, it's okay if you change your mind. After nine dates, I'm still your soulmate no matter what happens.

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