bottombitch | IC Contact @ Riverview

_{[ Oh god, oh god. He's been caught! Karamatsu visibly cringes, his shoulders drawing upward as embarrassment spreads across his face. He hangs up his phone without a word and looks over his shoulder at Aoba. Man, it looks like he's seen a ghost! He hates being caught doing something very stupid. ]}

W-Well, you see, about that.. _{[ he puts his phone in his back pocket again. ]}
I guess.. I've been lying to you this entire night, huh? Heh, it's wrong of me. I shouldn't, but I couldn't resist with this new kind of feeling.. you know, a feeling that I'm something honestly great and beautiful.

_{[ He makes a face and looks away, keeping his distance from Aoba. ]}

I should have at least told you sooner that.. it's been me all along.

...So you were trying to impress me by being someone else.

[ It takes Aoba a moment to catch up mentally, pushing aside the concept that this was some kind of super fan, desperate to become the man he idolized. It sounds foolish, but he's sure that there were plenty of beautiful people who lacked the brightness to match their glittering exterior. And others who lacked both but had all the enthusiasm to try.

He feels that tension evaporate, relieved that it isn't anything like a creepy fan, but just more of the same -- this quarantine's eccentricities taking a new form. Instead of it being a child version of Karamatsu, it seems that he's become... some kind of idolized version? He's not really sure what's going on, to be honest. ]

I was wondering why you were stuck on me like glue, and sometimes it seemed like you knew me a little too well. Instead I ended up learning that you don't know me very well at all, not where it counts.

[ Aoba reaches out and hooks a finger onto one of his belt loops. Tugs on it to get his attention. ]

I'm sorry that you felt like you had to go this far. Is it... reversible?

.. Yeah..
_{[ His voice is quiet. ]}
I like to impress people by being somebody else most of the time. But.. not like this.

_{[ He really doesn't understand how he can be so comfortable being so honest to Aoba and he still ends up lying to him. God, it's just another way for him to fuck up. He clenches his teeth slightly and looks down at his hands, taking note of each and every new change. He really did feel better about himself in this body and he finds himself lost in thought until Aoba tugs at him.
He snaps out of it and blinks rapidly at Aoba. ]}

U-uhm, well, you know.. I'm not entirely sure.. I was just handing out flowers. Ah, my big brother, he was the first person I saw.. when he received it, we both ended up like this and decided to make the most of it.

_{[ but why ]}

Why are you worried about it being reversible? My physique.. it is so much better!

Edited (oh my god pls spell check) 2018-05-02 02:44 (UTC)

[ Aoba's learned to stop asking 'why'. Sometimes it's best to just let those kinds of details go, mostly because the answer is often more cringe-worthy or just ends up revealing a whole host of other questions more distressing than the original.

Aoba understands now, anyway, why the pair seemed so familiar... and shakes his head. He feels like an idiot. It's so obvious in hindsight, and he was so distracted by their surface-level beauty that he kinda got... swept away. ]

Hmm. Better. I'm not sure about that.

[ Sure, he's hot like this. But... he also is a complete stranger in this form. And he would argue that it's even influencing his personality, the way he behaves... and honestly, it would have been easier if this had been someone else. But he's Karamatsu, not... whatever he's trying to be now. Aoba lifts a hand and rests it on Karamatsu's head, then draws it back to check the height difference between them. It's just... too big a difference. ]

You're taller than me and bigger, sure... but the real you is what I'm used to. And he's not so into himself.

It's kind of weird feeling jealous of someone's narcissism. [ He's joking, mostly. ] Just what kind of guy do you take me for, anyway?

_{[ The real you is what he's used to. For once he feels like his eyes have really been opened. He thought nobody in his entire life would say something like that to him. His lips curl in a frown, ignoring how his face heats up and colors from such a striking compliment. ]}

U-uhm.
_{[ wow, he's really left speechless for a second. ]}

I don't know.. I guess I thought maybe you'd like it. Maybe I just.. feel better about myself this way because I'm tired of being how I am. You never gave me any reason to make me think maybe you didn't like me, but I just, I don't know. I looked in the mirror and actually liked what I saw instead of pretending to like it, s-so..
_{[ WOW, words.. ]}

Edited 2018-05-02 03:09 (UTC)

You... liked this. Oh. Okay.

[ This is an entirely different matter then. Aoba thinks about this for a moment, dropping his eyes to the ground. If he had become someone else, like a girl or a puppy or something... sure, it would be difficult, but if it's what he wanted to be...

Aoba looks up again, smiling sheepishly. If this is something he wants, then he has to support it! Even if he's not used to it or thinks it was necessary. ]

Well, if this is really what you want, that's fine. I just don't want you to think -- you know...

[ That he was holding back because Karamatsu lacked in some way. He doesn't want him to think that at all. But if this makes him happy, then... ]

I wouldn't have changed anything about you, but that's also not my choice at all. Do you understand what I'm saying?

Mm.. but it's pretty fake, isn't it?
_{[ He laughs weakly and adverts his gaze. ]}

When am I not faking, though.. _{[ Ichimatsu keeps pointing that out about him and he knows he is right. ]}

But uh.. you said you wouldn't change anything at all about me? Even being shorter.. and not muscular.. just being.. whatever I'm supposed to be outside of this?

[ Aoba flusters. Waving his hands to try to keep Karamatsu with him and not plummet into a depressed mood. ]

It... it doesn't matter to me if it's fake! I mean, if this is important to you... you have my support! 100%!

[ He realizes he's treading dangerous territory. He wants Karamatsu to feel comfortable in his skin, not influence how he should look. Not... not to this degree. Quietly, he reaches out and puts his hands on his arms, then sliding them down to take his hands in his. ]

M-my soulmate came to me in a smaller package, one that I needed to handle gently. I'm just used to that.

I still like you no matter how you look on the outside.

I..
_{[ Well, timing is great, because a few seconds after Aoba says that, in a small puff of smoke, Karamatsu returns to his normal form without any kind of sign or warning. The cloud subsides and Karamatsu is seen again, smaller, less attractive and hardly any tone on his body at all.

He reacts a bit startled from his sudden transformation, drawing back his hands so he can place them over his own body and looks down at his hands to confirm that is what happened to him just now. If Aoba looks carefully, there's little tears seeping into the corners of his eyes. ]}

[ In shock, Aoba shields himself from the puff of smoke, waving his hand to clear the air in front of his face as he squints back at him. He hasn't a clue what caused that, but as soon as his eyes adjust, he realizes he needs to lower his gaze. He's back to his normal, noodle-armed self. Aoba's expression softens with recognition and he inwardly breathes a sigh of relief. It's not like he hated that look on him...it was just an adjustment he wasn't sure how to handle -- he was just determined to support whatever decision he made and wing it. ]

There you are.

[ Something about Karamatsu's expression looks a little sad, maybe frustrated. Like when you're enjoying something fun and suddenly the power goes out or you realize you've run out of tokens. Aoba steps up to him, lifts his arms and drapes them over his shoulders again, bumping his forehead against his. ]

If you really want me to, I can give you some more of those flowers. Personally... I don't think you need them. If you were enjoying them, I don't mind.

...Can I ask you a question, though?

_{[ Karamatsu isn't exactly upset that he's lost his ability out of nowhere, but he's actually more touched that Aoba would say those things about who he really is. He blinks rapidly a few times when he feels his head bump with his and reluctantly looks back into his eyes. ]}

A-Ah, yes.. of course. You can ask me anything! I will search the deepest parts of my soul for an answer.

Edited 2018-05-04 01:56 (UTC)

Hehe~

You shouldn't have to reach that far for an answer.

[ Aoba grins, pulling back to look down into his face and squeezes him with a hug. Yeah, they're out in public and only a moment ago Aoba was mildly freaking out over all the unexpected touching happening but. It's so different when he knows it's him. ]

...What were you going to do if I had said yes and you went back to normal at a bad time?

[ His smile looks a little mischievous. ]

_{[ Karamatsu makes a slight squeak when Aoba embraces him tightly but he reciprocates and encloses Aoba in his arms too, burrowing into his neck, his go to place to snuggle. He huffs out a small embarrassed laugh against his friend. ]}

There is no bad time! Only Fate.
_{[ there he goes.. ]}

What would be an example of a bad time?

[ Okay, if there's something Karamatsu is good at. It's hugs. They're warm and tight, definitely embarrassing but... it's okay. ]

An... example...

[ Ah, it backfired. Aoba's face reddens and he ends up sputtering at the idea of saying what he means. He should know! He was just cozying up to the idea thanks to those words spoken into his ear and wandering hands. ]

D-do I really need to spell it out for you? It was you who was propositioning we do this-or-that thing, wasn't it?

[ He didn't say that, Aoba, but also it's a little too much to start trying to whisper the same things into his ear so he chickens out and changes the subject. ]

Um. Hey... I've been thinking.

Maybe if you're fine with it... you can consider going on... nine dates with me.

_{[ It's a little weird being back in his old body after he had spent most of the day being taller and more handsome, but Aoba's reassurance about him being fine the way he is makes him act normal. He pulls away slightly, just enough to give them some space. Well, yes, he was the one suggesting some dirty things there a few minutes ago, but he hadn't expected Aoba to accept what he was implying, even in his other form.

He blinks owlishly up at him, pink spreading over his face at the very thought. Oh goodness. ]}

O-oh.. oh.

_{[ He doesn't have time to really react because Aoba throws him off guard with his next suggestion and he takes a good step back at Aoba, breaking off from him so he can properly exclaim: ]}

E-Eh!? Nine dates!?

[ If he's honest, the thought had crossed Aoba's mind to accept. It was fleeting and he promptly squashed it. He's not that kind of guy ~~except he really is~~. Just like he's briskly pushing past the sexy topic before his face spontaneously ignites.

But once Karamatsu jolts back in shock about his suggestion, Aoba sails right into a fluster. ]

Is that... no good? I-I mean, it'll give us time to see if we want to be friends or more -- and it's a super lucky number so I thought...

[ That he can't possibly fuck it up, and luck would be on his side to ensure their friendship stands the test. It sounds WAY lamer than it did in his head, though. ]

I-it's just that I like you and I don't really know what I'm doing. So I thought... maybe we could... give it a shot... and see how it goes?

N-no, it isn't that, it's just..
_{[ Aoba is right, it's a super lucky number! That's really cute. Karamatsu didn't get it at first, but now.. ]}

Aoba-kun, it's very generous! I can't think of a better number to go with!
_{[ He's trying not to show too much eagerness. After all, Aoba seemed to shoot him down at first when he was bombarding him with presents. it looks like he learned from it. ]}

Nine dates, ah, I never thought--
_{[ --that he could get nine dates with one singular person. He looks overjoyed to say the least. ]}

[ G-generous, he says. What the hell. ]

You say that like you're not the one doing me a favor, agreeing to my silly request.

[ Honestly, now that he's gone and said it, he feels a little like that guilt he's been holding onto is lighter. Except now he's nervous. He's already offered it, so there's no backing down now. ]

Um, Kara-kun... [ Aoba drops his eyes for a moment, remembering what Ichimatsu had told him. Then those strangers on the network too. Ichimatsu said he'd been 'leading him on', which he instinctively thinks that couldn't be further from the truth, but it doesn't matter what he thinks. What matters is what Karamatsu thinks. Those other people, they said to just be honest. And let himself have some fun without feeling like he's 'supposed' to do something. He's trying to put it all into practice, but it's not easy. ]

Tonight doesn't count. As far as I'm concerned, I just spent the last few hours hanging out with some celebrities.

Oh, but of course not. It doesn't have to! I don't know why you're worrying so much about what counts and what doesn't.
After all.. it sounds like it's me you want to go on the dates with, right?
_{[ Just hearing stuff like that makes him so giddy and happy and it shows on his face like sunshine. ]}

You and I can go karaoke again another night. How's that?

You love karaoke, don't you?

[ It makes sense, he loves to perform. Basically spends every waking moment deep in a performance, but that's also kind of cute... when it's not making him want to hide his face and die of embarrassment, that is. But then there's moments like this where he smiles radiantly and genuinely, the total absence of trying to pose for what must be the most ninja-like paparazzi that ever existed (hint: they don't).

Aoba slips his hand in Karamatsu's and bumps their shoulders together as he stands at his side. ]

Are you still going to walk me home? We could have a drink, and I'm not at the hotel anymore!

I love who I become when a karaoke, yes. A singer.. a star! It makes me even happier that you would refer us sing together.. like this. I suppose I wanted to impress you with the different look I as able to have.

_{[ He looks down at their hands once Aoba holds his-- it's not uncommon for them to be doing stuff like this now but it always seems to make Karamatsu feel warm on the inside. ]}

If that is what you desire, I have no choice then, hm? I'm here to do what I can to make you happy.

[ As over the top as Karamatsu gets, Aoba has learned to appreciate this side of him. The dreamer. He's always got his head in the clouds, trying to reach heaven. He doesn't like why he's like this, but if he's happy then how he copes with life isn't really an issue.

Aoba squeezes his hand. It feels odd to do this, when he's kind of kept him a little at arm's length ever since things heated up unexpectedly... but it's not weird. He doesn't quite remember when he started touching him more often, in a friendly sense, but now it just feels different. Like the inside of him is hollow and filled with butterflies with soft, fluttering wings. He's a little nervous, but not in a bad way. ]

I know it's probably strange of me to say, but a part of me feels happy that you're trying so hard.

[ It feels like it's been a while since someone did that. Tried to get his attention, his affection. It's oddly flattering, even if it makes him feel a little guilty that he had to go this far to do so. The last thing he wants is to make him feel like he has to when he already appreciates him for who he is. ]

...Sorry, I'm not trying to send mixed messages. It's a little hard to describe.

Thanks, I guess, for boosting my self-esteem - but I wouldn't want to come at a price of yours so... let me return the favor.

Mmm..
_{[ He hums in thought. As of late he's been keeping all of his emotions and adoration restrained like he figured Aoba wanted. When he first started showing an interest in Aoba it was overbearing, but now he seems pleased that he's trying a lot. If Karamatsu were honest with himself he would say it's exhausting.
Instead, any look of thought is replaced with a smile as always. He returns by squeezing Aoba's hand twice-- something he's been doing often. ]}

W-Well, I..
_{[ It's unfair— staying in a limbo while he waits for Aoba to feel comfortable about the idea— but he's too nice to bring it up. ]}

I would just like to date you no matter what it takes I suppose.
_{[ he swings their hands gently, looking away from him entirely. ]}

It's foolish if I think about it too much, so I don't. I just continue to wait.

[ After a while, Aoba slows down and stops, staring at his feet. He's been trying this hard and waiting, and that makes his insides feel like they're weighed down with a stone. This must be what 'leading him on' means. Making him wait and pine away, just like he's waiting and pining away for something that won't return to him. It still feels like the right and honorable thing to do, but when he thinks about it... Isn't he just passing on that pain along for no reason? ]

...I had this crazy idea that, in order to do right by you and myself, I needed to empty my heart of anyone else first. But recently I became aware that this is a pretty common problem, losing someone you care about. Particularly here.

So, if you're okay knowing that some part of me is hanging on -- or maybe just mourning for the past, then... why... wait?

[ Aoba's voice wavers. He's a little unsteady, admitting this much and without the comfort of being anonymous. It was hard enough to talk about this when no one could tell who he was, but it's that much harder being so direct. ]

Ah, the place is at the corner of this block. [ A pause. ] You should... come inside to see it.

_{[ Aoba is explaining his feelings about all of this and by now Karamatsu can only give him as much attention as he can muster. He's never been engaged or in any sort of serious relationship (his flower fairy girl doesn't count) so he doesn't know what it is like to have somebody suddenly leave. Karamatsu would be lying if he said he didn't have feelings for somebody else which was something he worried about when he first arrived on the Eluvio, actually.

He presses his thumb into Aoba's hand. He doesn't feel like mentioning Totoko and how he still misses her and would like to date her. Especially when it sounds like Aoba just accepted his proposal just now. ]}

Wait... eh? What do you mean.. 'why wait'?
_{[ oh but yeah, there's his place up ahead. ]}

Of course! I would love to see it.

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